Things I'm loving about my mid-50's

Having been part of the generation that was taught, "don't trust anyone over 30", the whole idea of aging has not been positive.  However, as I get older, I am finding there are more positive aspects than I ever imagined.

Here are some I am loving about my 50's:

1) I am no longer affected by peer pressure.  Wow, I never really expected that to go away.  I thought I would always feel pressure to fit in with my peers, but no longer!  I don't have to wear the latest fashions or make up or shoe styles.  I don't feel an urge to compete with those around me anymore.

2) I am pretty much invisible.  This is a good thing!  I don't get singled out by police or at the airport.

3) People are polite to me.  Folks open doors, carry packages and are always offering to help.  I guess I don't look like I can do it myself anymore, but that's okay, I like it.

4) I am not spending all my energy looking to the future. I no longer tell myself, 'when this happens, I can slow down'.  I have finally slowed down. And I like it right here in the present.

5) I have reached the age where I can suddenly remember incredible details about the past.  I can close my eyes and be transported to any age I choose. Never mind that I can't remember where my keys are or what day of the week it is, but I do remember all my teachers from elementary school.

6)  I get to be a grandparent.  The most wonderful thing happens when you become a grandparent - you suddenly become cool again!  And even better than  that, you don't have to raise your grandchild, you merely have to love them. There is a sweetness to that truth that is like honey to my heart.

7) I don't feel the need to have things anymore.  I find myself giving away or cutting back on things in general. More stuff or bigger houses just don't interest me anymore.  I didn't realize what a burden that was until it lifted.

8) I no longer have to parent my children. My daughters will always be my children but I no longer have to raise them.  I have no more desire to give my opinion unless they ask. Another weight is gone that I hadn't realized weighed so much.

In my 50's I want to just enjoy life, savor my friends and family and appreciate the world around me.  Life has become much sweeter than I imagined it would be at this age.  For that, I am grateful.

The times, they are a'changin

Lately, I’ve been reading a lot about the large percentage of teens raised in the church who leave after high school and don’t return.  This study has some churches shocked and some churches scrambling to do something and some churches unfazed and unchanged.

(disclaimer: this is all my opinion.  I claim to be a person who has been part of changes and a person who has watched changes.  I do not claim to be an expert in anything)

Too often, we look at changes happening in the church culture and we panic.  We tend to think that, if God is unchanging, then the church should be unchanging too.  We tend to forget that the ‘normal’ church today is nothing like the church in generations past.  Those of us who don’t want church to change now have forgotten that church is the way it is now because we wanted change.

In my own experience, I can only go back about 50 years, but it’s enough to see a pattern.  When I was a child, I had to sit with my parents in church.  No kids’ church for me.  It was b-o-r-i-n-g.  The only thing I learned was when to be quiet and how far away from my parents I could get without getting flicked or pinched or threatened. 

Then someone started making kids' church so it would be on their level and they could understand better.  Over the years it has evolved so that kids don't see the inside of 'big church' until they are in their late teens.  And now, guess what?  It's b-o-r-i-n-g!

When I was in my early teens, people started to be concerned because young people were leaving the church in droves and not looking back.  Some folks took it upon themselves to meet the teens where they were and show them that Jesus was about relationships, not a place and not just acceptable behavior inside a certain building.

My generation rocked the church.  We wore jeans to church!  (the gasps from the ‘0lder generation’ sucked most of the oxygen from the building)  We talked about what it meant to live for Jesus in ‘rap sessions’ where someone would often play a guitar and we didn’t sing hymns. 

Our generation wanted to be radical for Jesus.  We knew we wanted Jesus and we knew we didn’t want the church we grew up in.  Being young with little direction proved to be like giving a loaded gun to monkeys!

However, the established church finally realized that things needed to change in order to keep the next generation from walking away from church and their faith.

It’s not a new problem.  It seems to surface 40 to 50 years.  So, what do we do?  I can say from experience that trying to convince a generation of teens that hymn books and wearing suits was the only way to worship didn’t work.

The people who loved the generation the way they were and poured the love of Jesus into them is what made the difference.  I believe, if you look at the generation who is choosing to stay in church, you will find they are connected to other people who love them.

Relationships and the unconditional love of Jesus will make the difference.  We want to throw money and programs at them because relationships are so much more costly.  We want to complain and bemoan this new generation when we forget that we were right there ourselves a few decades ago.

If we want the younger generation to see Jesus, they will need to see Him in us.  If those of us from the last generation who saw big changes in the church are honest, that’s all we were really looking for too – Jesus.  It’s going to cost us time and more time.  Are we willing to pay that price?

Have You Considered This at Christmas?

     Whenever I get my Christmas ornaments out, I don’t just see a pretty decoration. I see something with a special story behind it. On my tree you may see a white Styrofoam ball with a green glitter tree and the name Ruth in red glitter with a pipe cleaner to hold the hook. However, when I see that, I see a little 7 year old girl, sitting at her desk in an old fashioned schoolroom, trying to make the Elmer’s glue come out just right. When I see the ornaments that look like badly crafted stained glass, I see the first year we had all 3 girls and no money and not enough ornaments for the tree. I still see their faces as we put lots of colorful, though not that pretty, ornaments on the tree.

     So come with me to see something more behind the manger scene that we take out at Christmas…..

     To start with, I want to give you all a few reminders. Jesus was crucified in Jerusalem . John the Baptist proclaimed in John 1:29, “Behold, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world.” Peter talked about our redemption in 1 Peter 1:19 as the “Precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot.”

     In the Old Testament, the lamb was sacrificed for the forgiveness of sin. It had to be a lamb without blemish or spot – it couldn’t be scarred or cut or bruised. Jesus died in Jerusalem , where the temple was and where the lambs were sacrificed.

The story of Christmas has Christ born in a manger as the Lamb of God, to be the Saviour of the world and to take away the sins of the world. This would involve sacrifice. Bethlehem cannot be understood without Calvary . The manger must be seen in the light of the Cross. Birth would also involve death.

     We all know the Christmas story from Luke:

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lordcame upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign to you; You shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord has made known to us. And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger. And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child. And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds. But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told to them. (Luke 2:8-20)

     Have you ever wondered who these shepherds were? Has anyone ever wondered why the angels didn’t give them any more details of where to look? No street sign, no neon light, no flag…

     The Christmas story takes on added meaning when we consider that, according to multiple writings of rabbis, the shepherds who were abiding by their flocks in the fields were perhaps watching over temple sheep, sheep that were being bred and protected to be sacrificed at the temple in Jerusalem. These shepherds may have been men who were accustomed to preparing lambs which symbolically represented the Messiah in their cleanliness, perfection, and their sacrifice on the altar of the temple. This gives added depth of meaning to these scriptures which tell of the angels who came to these shepherds to proclaim the birth of the Lamb of God, the Savior of mankind, who would offer the last and ultimate sacrifice.

     With the establishment of Temple worship in Jerusalem , the fields outside of Bethlehem became the place where this special group of shepherds raised the lambs that were sacrificed in the Temple . The place where the angels appeared to the shepherds is traditionally known as the “Tower of the Flock,” or Migdal Edar, which is very near Bethlehem . This watch tower from ancient times was used by the shepherds for protection from their enemies and wild beasts. It was the place ewes were brought to give birth to the lambs. In this sheltered building/cave the priests would bring in the ewes which were about to lamb for protection. The shepherds who kept them were men who were specifically trained for this royal task. Being themselves under special Rabbinical care, they would strictly maintain a ceremonially clean stable for a birthing place.   It could have been to this place that Joseph took Mary. It could have been in this special stable at “Migdal Eder” that Christ was born!

     These shepherds were educated in what an animal that was to be sacrificed had to be and it was their job to make sure that none of the animals were hurt, damaged, or blemished. The shepherds would wrap the newborn lambs in swaddling clothes to protect the body of the lambs, keeping the new lambs without spot or bruise, they would then be laid in a manger until they had calmed down.

    These lambs would be offered as sacrifice at the Temple just four miles away in Jerusalem.

     There was no need for the angels to give these shepherds directions to the birth place because they already knew. These were the men who raised sacrificial lambs that were sacrificed in the Temple . When the angelic announcement came, they knew exactly where to go, for the sign of a manger and swaddling coths could only mean THEIR manger at the tower of the flock!

     The Lamb born at Migdal Eder was the Lamb to be sacrificed to take away the sin of the world.

     You see our Lord Jesus was born in Bethlehem where all sacrificial lambs were born, and our Lord Jesus died in Jerusalem where all sacrificial lambs were killed.

    So when you look at a nativity set this year, and you see the shepherds and Mary and Joseph and then you see the baby wrapped in swaddling cothes lying in a manger, I hope you’ll think of the story behind it. And I hope Christmas will touch you a little deeper this year.

(This is a compliation of the following sites:http://www.mayimhayim.org/Rabbi%20Mike/Migdal%20Eder.htm,

http://www.cbn.com/special/thenativitymovie/articles/whybethlehem.aspx, http://www.bible-truth.org/BirthPlaceofJesus.html, http://www.templestudy.com/2009/12/18/shepherds-christmas-story/)

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We Gain Some, We lose Some and life goes on.

I've been pondering some wise words from a friend.  I think I will ponder them better here.

Here are her wise words:  Growing older is a series of losses.

Let's back up a little here.  When we start out in life, we're like a blank chalkboard.  We have everything to gain in front of us.  We gain language, mobility, we gain people who love us, we gain laughter and joy.  We gain friends, experiences that will begin to shape who we are becoming.  We begin to gain interaction, and education.  We being to gain friends and relationships.

At the first part of our life, everything is new and fresh and exciting.  Each stage brings something new and exciting.  As we get older the next stages bring the excitement of adulthood.  We experience college, future spouses, marriages, careers, children, homes, etc, etc as we enter real adulthood.

The next stage are our peak years.  We have the most energy to accomplish the most things and we can juggle more things in our lives that we ever thought possible.   It's exhilarating for a long time.  It's like making to the top of the mountain after a long, hard climb.  It feels good.  We feel proud, fulfilled, content.

The kids are out on their own and we feel like we can finally breathe.  And then, after a half a lifetime of gains, we begin to see some losses.  It feels as though our bodies' warranties ran out when we hit 50.  

You know those body organs you can life without?  Mine lost their warranties and had to be discarded.. So I lost my...appendix...tonsils....gall bladder....female parts.... I don't feel as strong as I used to feel. 

I'm losing my quick memory.  Words and names don't come as quickly as they used to.  It frustrates me because I never had to struggle before with those things.  I have to ask for help to remember something.  It's humbling because I had been competently independent for many years.

I can't remember our conversation last night, but I can pull stories out of my brain from my childhood so easily.  The grandkids are asking for stories and I can do that with so much clarity that it's a little disconcerting.

I'm having to learn to adapt to some losses.  My eyesight has taken a bad turn and I am having to relearn a new normal in my vision.  For the first time in over 30 years, I am scared driving at night because of the loss of vision.  I'm not in control and can't fix it and losing feelings of confidence is another loss.

I think I can handle some of these losses when they feel within my control.  But I am learning that these losses are now involving losing friends.   In the last couple years, I have lost more family and friends than ever before in my life.  When I was younger, it was almost always someone older who died.  Now those 'someone older' deaths are my friends, my peers (I'm a someone older now too)  I think I'd always hoped we'd just grow up, enjoy life and start dying off later, much later.  And it would be
 nice if it was pretty much close together, like at the same time. (just an idea)  I desperately miss my friends who have died.  I don't think I will ever get used to this.

However, losses don't follow a schedule.  We lose a loved one and at our age, it's inevitable that we'll lose another loved one....repeat way too often from now on.

Losses come in other forms.  Job layoff is a big loss when it changes your whole lifestyle.  When this happened to us, we realized that we'd also lost that sense of adventure that would've had us moving at the drop of a hat and starting a new life over.  But we've lost that.  Our roots are here and we choose instead to readjust our lives here.  

We've lost dreams that we always thought would happen one day.  Trips to visit people who have now died have had to be set aside and given some time to grieve that loss.

It's difficult to shift thinking from embracing all life has to offer and then realizing that things are changing and you're not in control of those changes.

I know that I have the choice how to respond.  I wasn't expecting the losses and changes throw me into emotional chaos so that I don't know how to repsond.

On this 'losing' side of the journey, I am in the midst of learning how to respond.  How to keep peace and hope at the forefront.  I'm learning to look for things to make me happy regardless what is consuming me emotionally.

I'm trying to accept my new normal instead of wishing I was somewhere else from 20 years ago.  I don't know how I will do or what's going to happen.

I'm clinging to God every step of the way.  And I'm looking for the person in charge of putting out signs along the way....."Changes ahead!"....."Bladder control does not work on this side of the journey"...."Yield to aches and pains"...

I think the ageless Cat In The Hat has a poem that says it well: