When I worked with junior high kids, we had an annual event called "Hello/Goodbye".  At that event, we said goodbye to the kids who were moving up to the senior high group and hello to the kids who were joining the junior high group.

It was a bittersweet event.  We had the chance to remember the fun times we all had together and remind the teens leaving that we'd always love them.  And then we had the chance to welcome the teens joining the group and let them know we were looking forward to new memories and getting to know them.

Hello/Goodbye always brought tears of sadness and joy mingled together.

I realize as I begin qualifying for senior discounts, that I find myself having a number of my own hellos and goodbyes.

Goodbye to the days when my body rarely ached and it would do whatever I wanted it to do.  Hello to the days when my body always aches and can't do what I want it to do.

Goodbye to some of my favorite childhood hangouts.  Hello to savoring them in my memory.

Goodbye to the days that I was so busy that the days ran together and I was always tired.  Hello to being able to read a book or sit on my porch and enjoy my swing.

Goodbye to raising children.  Hello to simply loving grandchildren.

Goodbye to the guilt of feeling like I would never be a good enough mother.  Hello to telephone calls from my children asking for parenting advice.

Goodbye to the thrill and excitement of being a newlywed.  Hello to the warm feeling that I've been married 2/3 of my life.

Goodbye to days of counting every penny.  Hello to senior discounts.

Goodbye to PMS.  Hello to menopause.

Goodbyes are always bittersweet.  It's hard to let go of the familiar, especially when the familiar gets sweeter as time passes.

Hellos are always a bit scary.  Can anything really take the place of the memories you savor?

No, nothing can take the place of what is gone.  But there is always room in our hearts and lives for someone new to love and something new to discover.  I have to be willing to make that room and not let my memories crowd out new experiences and friends.

Anyone else find yourself saying goodbye and hello?

2014 - here I come!

2014 - wow, I am living in 2014!  That may seem like an odd comment unless you were born in the mid 1950's.  It was the beginning of space travel and we grew up watching space travel grow until we watched men walk on the moon!  That was big stuff back then.  As people looked toward the far away year 2000, the amazing possibilities were just waiting for us.  And now, in 2014, I am still pretty much in awe at life around me.

I watch my grandchildren handle any kind of electronic as though it was second nature to them and I am amazed.  I see my grandkids use an iPad as their only school necessity.  It's phenomenal to watch these students study and interact and discover on their own.

And yet, here I am, living in 2014.  I had decided that I want 2014 to be the year outside my comfort zone.  I want to set goals that will keep me from becoming complacent and apathetic.

I almost hesitate to mention this here because I feel vulnerable.  But if I'm going outside my comfort zone, I need to do this.

I have lost 35 lbs in the last few months.  And I ran my first 5K.  I still have a long way to go to reach my weight goal but I'm going to do it slowly so it won't come back on.

I survived the 5K, thanks to my daughter  and best friend who ran, walked and sashayed with me.  I finished and wasn't last!  That's a winner for me!

So, my goal for 2014 is to reach my weight goal by the end of the year.  I am signing up for a 5K in March. (back to my C25K again).  And I am determined to go on my first international mission trip with our church in June.

These things are WAY outside my comfort zone.  But I am going to work toward truly reaching these goals.  Along the way, side effects will produce a better me, physically, emotionally and spiritually.  

Please notice I am not looking for more patience!  I know better than to ask God for that!!  

These are really big steps for me.  But I am going to go outside my comfort zone and work toward them, one step at a time, one pound at a time, one prayer at a time.

I'm taking a deep breath and I am ready to go!

Things I'm loving about my mid-50's

Having been part of the generation that was taught, "don't trust anyone over 30", the whole idea of aging has not been positive.  However, as I get older, I am finding there are more positive aspects than I ever imagined.

Here are some I am loving about my 50's:

1) I am no longer affected by peer pressure.  Wow, I never really expected that to go away.  I thought I would always feel pressure to fit in with my peers, but no longer!  I don't have to wear the latest fashions or make up or shoe styles.  I don't feel an urge to compete with those around me anymore.

2) I am pretty much invisible.  This is a good thing!  I don't get singled out by police or at the airport.

3) People are polite to me.  Folks open doors, carry packages and are always offering to help.  I guess I don't look like I can do it myself anymore, but that's okay, I like it.

4) I am not spending all my energy looking to the future. I no longer tell myself, 'when this happens, I can slow down'.  I have finally slowed down. And I like it right here in the present.

5) I have reached the age where I can suddenly remember incredible details about the past.  I can close my eyes and be transported to any age I choose. Never mind that I can't remember where my keys are or what day of the week it is, but I do remember all my teachers from elementary school.

6)  I get to be a grandparent.  The most wonderful thing happens when you become a grandparent - you suddenly become cool again!  And even better than  that, you don't have to raise your grandchild, you merely have to love them. There is a sweetness to that truth that is like honey to my heart.

7) I don't feel the need to have things anymore.  I find myself giving away or cutting back on things in general. More stuff or bigger houses just don't interest me anymore.  I didn't realize what a burden that was until it lifted.

8) I no longer have to parent my children. My daughters will always be my children but I no longer have to raise them.  I have no more desire to give my opinion unless they ask. Another weight is gone that I hadn't realized weighed so much.

In my 50's I want to just enjoy life, savor my friends and family and appreciate the world around me.  Life has become much sweeter than I imagined it would be at this age.  For that, I am grateful.

The times, they are a'changin

Lately, I’ve been reading a lot about the large percentage of teens raised in the church who leave after high school and don’t return.  This study has some churches shocked and some churches scrambling to do something and some churches unfazed and unchanged.

(disclaimer: this is all my opinion.  I claim to be a person who has been part of changes and a person who has watched changes.  I do not claim to be an expert in anything)

Too often, we look at changes happening in the church culture and we panic.  We tend to think that, if God is unchanging, then the church should be unchanging too.  We tend to forget that the ‘normal’ church today is nothing like the church in generations past.  Those of us who don’t want church to change now have forgotten that church is the way it is now because we wanted change.

In my own experience, I can only go back about 50 years, but it’s enough to see a pattern.  When I was a child, I had to sit with my parents in church.  No kids’ church for me.  It was b-o-r-i-n-g.  The only thing I learned was when to be quiet and how far away from my parents I could get without getting flicked or pinched or threatened. 

Then someone started making kids' church so it would be on their level and they could understand better.  Over the years it has evolved so that kids don't see the inside of 'big church' until they are in their late teens.  And now, guess what?  It's b-o-r-i-n-g!

When I was in my early teens, people started to be concerned because young people were leaving the church in droves and not looking back.  Some folks took it upon themselves to meet the teens where they were and show them that Jesus was about relationships, not a place and not just acceptable behavior inside a certain building.

My generation rocked the church.  We wore jeans to church!  (the gasps from the ‘0lder generation’ sucked most of the oxygen from the building)  We talked about what it meant to live for Jesus in ‘rap sessions’ where someone would often play a guitar and we didn’t sing hymns. 

Our generation wanted to be radical for Jesus.  We knew we wanted Jesus and we knew we didn’t want the church we grew up in.  Being young with little direction proved to be like giving a loaded gun to monkeys!

However, the established church finally realized that things needed to change in order to keep the next generation from walking away from church and their faith.

It’s not a new problem.  It seems to surface 40 to 50 years.  So, what do we do?  I can say from experience that trying to convince a generation of teens that hymn books and wearing suits was the only way to worship didn’t work.

The people who loved the generation the way they were and poured the love of Jesus into them is what made the difference.  I believe, if you look at the generation who is choosing to stay in church, you will find they are connected to other people who love them.

Relationships and the unconditional love of Jesus will make the difference.  We want to throw money and programs at them because relationships are so much more costly.  We want to complain and bemoan this new generation when we forget that we were right there ourselves a few decades ago.

If we want the younger generation to see Jesus, they will need to see Him in us.  If those of us from the last generation who saw big changes in the church are honest, that’s all we were really looking for too – Jesus.  It’s going to cost us time and more time.  Are we willing to pay that price?