Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Pre-op prep

Say that 3 times fast! Tomorrow I spend the day getting ready for surgery in a couple weeks. In the last 2 weeks I've had a root canal, crown, broken toe and major surgery is next. I think my warranties are running out!

Things have slowed down a bit and that's a good thing.

We are having a girls' sleepover here this weekend, but these girls are a joy so I'm looking forward to it.

Nice to say there's no real news about anything right now!

Monday, September 18, 2006

The voices in my head

I'm approaching the ripe old age of 49. I am adult enough to almost be considered eligible for membership in AARP! So, why do the voices from my parents from my childhood still haunt me?

I work at least 30 hrs a week for the youth group. I take care of 3 grandchildren, Monday - Friday (Christy's as needed, Kylene's full time). Even when I do youth group stuff while they're taking their naps, I'm still putting in a lot of hours each week. But I hesitate when someone asks me if I work! And I always think I'm not doing enough, either with the grandkids or with the youth.

If someone told ME they were putting in those kind of hours, I'd tell them they're working a LOT and it's okay and wise to not try to reach some impossible invisible goal. But I can't seem to say that to myself.

I still hear the echoes of my father telling me I am lazy and selfish. I was 14 at the time. What 14 year old ISN'T lazy and selfish? But he never was able to erase that because he never told me he was proud of me or that I did a good job at anything. So all I hear is that I'm still lazy and selfish.

My mother told me I had no talent with crafts. Regardless of ribbons from the Texas State Fair for my work, I still think my work isn't really that good. Those comments echo through everything I do.

I am so aware that the things we say can make a difference in someone's life - good or bad. And that parents have more power than they realize in their children's lives.

I don't know how to shut up the voices. My head knows the difference and my head knows the truth. But how do I get it down to my heart? And the weird thing is that my parents don't even have any input in my life, but I still hear those words telling me I'm not good enough.

They may always be there. Maybe they're a reminder to me to be diligent of the things I say to others. Maybe they're still there to help fuel my passion to NOT be like them.

Sometimes I wish I could quiet them for good. Today is one of those days.

Friday, September 15, 2006


The day after the leadership retreat, I had to have an emergency root canal on my tooth. Good thing they knew CPR - I thought I'd have a heart attack when they said, "that'll be $990, please"! Then I knew I'd need oxygen when they said, 'oh, by the way, you'll need a crown - it's an additional $864!!!"

Kevin was so sweet and gracious. I appreciated him so much.

The dentist said it'll hurt for 2 weeks and I'll have to eat soft foods only and chew only on the opposite side. They sure got that 'hurt' part down! I've saved my pain meds for this weekend. I'm teaching at our youth's annual Fall Retreat. We've got 46 jr hi kids coming! I'm teaching 3 lessons/sermons and it really starts hurting after a bit so I'm going to try to do it while on pain meds. Luckily, I always write my talks out so that I don't have to try to remember anything!

I don't expect much sleep this weekend either. It's going to be great, just tiring.

pretty sad that my idea of rest now comes in the form of major surgery!!!!

Monday, September 11, 2006

The week that flew by

I left last Sunday, Sept 3, for Tennessee. My sister-in-law and I were going to welcome her son, Josh, home from Iraq. She was flying from Phoenix to Memphis. I drove and met her in Memphis and then we drove up to TN to our hotel near the base.

I hadn't seen Chelli in almost 20 years. Reconnecting with her was a joy. We expected Josh to fly in on Monday... then it was delayed until Tuesday,... then Wednesday.... FINALLY, he came home on Thursday. There were 450 soldiers returning at the same time! It was pretty impressive seeing them deplane fully geared and then watching them march into the hangar. When they were dismissed to find their families, that's when we panicked! They all looked so much alike! Luckily, Josh found us first.

It was a fun time taking Josh all over to buy things he needed and missed. Then going to Outback for a huge steak! We had a suite at the hotel so that he could stay comfortably with us and he slept well that first night.

Sadly, we had to drop him off at his base early in the morning and then I had to drive Chelli back to the airport and try to drive back home before 5pm because I was in charge of our 9th graders' leadership retreat! The other couple took the kids to the camp and I stopped home long enough to repack and head out for camp. After 13 hours total in the car, I made it to camp, just an hour late.

I spent Friday night, all day Saturday and Sunday morning teaching our 9th graders about leadership. It was an intense weekend. Those kids got NO free time, unless you count midnight to 2am the last evening! But it was a good weekend. Our kids are so good to each other and really care and they're ready to go!

I crashed last night but feel good today. I think I'll go take a quick nap since I got the grandkids down at the same time!

About Me

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Longview, Texas
In the autumn of my life, I am very content.