Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Why do I find myself justifying higher standards?

Over the years, I have found myself having to justify having a higher standard. Sometimes it gets old and I'm going to rant a bit here. This way, if I get frustrated, I can read this out loud as often as I need.

The picture I chose is a great place to start. It says succinctly why we never told our kids that there was a Santa Claus, Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy. We didn't want to lie to our kids. Why did I feel as though I had to constantly explain that? How couldn't other folks explain to me why it was okay to tell their kids these myths are real!

We had 3 daughters and set a high standard in modesty. I got tired of being questioned why we set a rule that our girls had to wear a one piece swimsuit. Maybe they could tell me why that was so odd but it was okay for their daughter to wear tiny bikinis? Why was that more normal?

We didn't let our girls date until they were 16. Boys had to spend lots of time with our family. Why did that need more explanation than the folks who allowed their 13 year old to date?

Our family didn't watch 'R' rated movies. In fact, we decided that, if the kids couldn't see it, we wouldn't either. Why was that stranger than than those allowing their child to watch very violent and sexually themed movies?

Our kids had to get jobs when they turned 16 and were expected to act as an adult by their senior year of high school. How is that more unusual than a 26 year old who still lives at home and can't do their own laundry?

I'm not pointing fingers at anyone in particular. My pondering and ranting started because someone questioned why I don't like Halloween and then thought I was odd because I choose not to celebrate the holiday nor use it as an evangelistic opportunity. Somehow that was less understandable than dressing up as a blood sucking killer and getting scared until you pee your pants.

I need to learn how to not feel like I have to justify my beliefs. Maybe that just comes with time. I don't worry as much as I used to about what others think of me. Maybe there's still hope for me.


Anonymous said...

i'd just encourage you to try not to let other's comments make you feel like you need to justify your choices. by the time our children our grown, we have made a zillion choices in parenting them. many people can articulate why they do what they do and have very good reasons for following path A or path B. i think it's ok if we do it differently! what's important is that the decision is done in love, with the best interest of your child in mind.

how boring the world would be if we were all the same.

hugs, julie

Gracesdad said...

So with you there Ruth, but then you already knew that. Halloween is the worst, I feel persecuted every single year, but like you, I am becoming less and less concerned with what others think......

Love ya sister


Lindy Blosser said...

I agree with you 100%. We never did Halloween, Santa Claus, Easter bunny or the tooth fairy either. Couldn't find it in the Bible, and knew it was fantasy so we didn't press our kids to believe it either. I guess I remember when I was a child thinking that if these things weren't real, why in the world were my parents telling us? Vowed I would never do that to my own kids.

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In the autumn of my life, I am very content.