Tuesday, December 06, 2011

10 Presents I Won't Be Buying this Christmas...

Every once in a while, it's good to see the strange things for sale out there. It makes it easier to focus on the real reason for the season!

So, here's a list of 10 things I promise not to buy anyone this year!

1) Doggie Doo Game.
Really? The winner is the one with 3 piles of poop on their scoop. Why would you buy this? Why would you play?

2) Dysfunctional Family Bingo.
Even if you know (or if you are) the perfect family to give this to, I think you are taking your live in your hands to give this as a gift!

3) Beanie, beard and moustache. All in purple.
No matter how much I don't like you, I won't be putting this under your tree. However, I guess it could be used as camouflage in a concord grape orchard.

4) Tongue Tattoo
Even if you're sure this is the perfect gift, you won't be getting this from me!

5) Moose Poop Earrings
Is this a theme this year? Sometimes I have to listen to enough of this that I sure don't want the real thing near my ears!

6) Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds Barbie
I'm not making this up! I laughed at the movie but not at this doll. Nightmares not included. (I hear folks are flocking to buy it!)

7) Fish Flipflops
I don't hate anyone enough to give them fish flipflops. Well, maybe a scaled down version....

Smoking Mittens
Who comes up with these things? Wouldn't gloves be a whole lot simpler?

9) Dog Poo Calendar
All I'm going to say is that there is a reason the year is 2009 on this calendar.

10) Aquarium Toilet
This is probably payback for anyone who's ever had a fish funeral. Or fish hell.

I'm so glad my Christmas is about Jesus, the real reason for the season.

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Longview, Texas
In the autumn of my life, I am very content.