Kevin and I decided to get married and I had no idea how we were going to manage, a very young couple, no experience in living on our own, managing a budget. I had no idea how to shop, plan menus, even use a checkbook.
When Kevin and I decided to have a baby, I had no idea what labor would be like. Then I had no idea what birth would be like. Then I had no idea how to take care of a baby.
It all sounded so easy and it all seemed like it was something we could do without much trouble.
It was a theme of our life. We had no idea how to raise 3 daughters, no idea how we'd pay for braces, clothes, car insurance, lessons, etc, etc, etc.
I think if I'd been able to see ahead, it may have scared me too much to even attempt those things. If I'd seen ahead, I don't think I would have been brave enough to have 3 children so close in age. I would have been terrified to try to provide for them, it would have seen too daunting.
There is a lot of comfort that God is outside of time. He knows what's coming and even knows the end of the story. Knowing that helps me keep putting one foot in front of the other, even when I can't see around the next bend.
As I look back on last year, I'm glad that I had no idea what was ahead. Even though that year is now behind me, I'm still feeling as though I can only take one step at a time without becoming afraid.
There's a reason that we have no idea what lies ahead for each of us. It would scare us off and keep us from becoming who we're supposed to be. The best growth comes during the hardest times. That sounds so good but the truth is that I doubt I'd be willing to volunteer for the hardest times. I can only get through those times when I only see far enough along the path for the next step. Not for the next mile, or yards, just enough for the next step.
Taking the journey step by step keeps me close to the source of my light. And the things I don't see keep me from being too scared to keep walking.
Many times I've heard the comments, "You have no idea what it's like to raise kids....You have no idea how much your kids will break your heart.....You have no idea how difficult it is to truly let go of your kids.....You have no idea how hard it is to face that empty nest....." etc, etc. At the time, they were right, I truly had no idea what the journey would be like.
I will face these fears of the unknown until my death. However, my Father will be a 'lamp to guide my feet and a light to my path'. He will give me as much light as I need to see what is coming. Not too much to scare and overwhelm me and not too little so that I become proud.
Tomorrow, I have no idea what's coming. But God is just ahead of me. And that's enough. With that in mind, I can enjoy the journey and savor all the good stuff instead of worrying about things I haven't even gotten to yet.
I'm so glad I have Someone who loves me, who knows what's coming so I don't have to dread and fret. Instead, I can enjoy the journey, one step at a time.